Flawlessly Integrated 5/11/12

This world has bound me.

Created by man.

Here, I can't be free.

But out there I can.

            Quickening my pace, I escape.

            I'm allowed to breath now;

            Deeply, freely.

            My heartbeat settles.  I’m not far enough.

            I push forward.

            To the world that calls me in.

            Created through perfect harmony.

            The melodies I sing,

            and the steady beats of my step;

            flawlessly integrated.

            Here I can be me, be free.

            Sanctuary. Comfort. Peace.

            all are given to me through my very existence.

            reassured by each blade of grass.

            I have found it.

            And yet, I know I can't stay here forever.

            All things must pass;

            And the thing is, that everything comes together at the end.            

            There's more for me. A need to move on.

            Gathering my thoughts and emotions I step away

            farther and farther.  Until I reach the brink, and cross it.

The glimpse of a flower catches my eye.

I pick it up, and now I know I

can take my comfort with me, wherever I may roam.

Freedom, security and love. I make my own home.

                                                                       

Misstep 2/27/2011

Let’s do this dance again…

You lead and I’ll follow. 

Make sure to stick to the beat. 

Aren’t you supposed to hold my hand?

Please try not to step on my toes, I

 painted them all nice for you. 

Remember to keep a firm grip. 

Light on my feet. 

Give me some momentum,

a nice hard tug maybe?

Oh dear, it’s here,

the climax,

the lift. 

Back straight.

 Keep the focus.

 Arms straight out.

 Toes pointed. 

I trust you with this.  Throw me up…

Next time, I lead and you follow.

A Tangent. 12/17/2010

   I was checking facebook today and started to feel philosophical, so I opened old notes I had written.  I read the comments and words of encouragement that I love so much and decided that I wanted to write something new.  So I grabbed an oreo from the pantry and snuggled under the covers (where I write best).  As soon as I got comfortable, I saw a beautiful pink rose out the window.  It was overcast today so the vibrant pink really stood out amongst the green and grey.  Those of you who know me know that I couldn't possibly admire the rose from inside the house.  I jumped out of bed and ran for the camera to try to capture this rose and all of its beauty. 

        Feeling successful, I walked back inside and once again became comfortable in my bed, eager to write.  Then I realized that I was faced with a dilemma.  I had nothing to write about.  Disappointed, I racked my brain for ideas.  Whenever I thought of something interesting or worthwhile or genuine, a voice in my head said "You can't put that on facebook.  So many people will be able to read it!"  So I would cast those ideas away and save them for another time when I would write them down in a notebook somewhere.  For now however, I wanted feedback.  As my mind was still flipping through ideas to write about, I began to wonder why I cared so much if all you people would read my notes.  Did I cast those ideas away because they were too personal? Too revealing into my mind or soul? And if so, why would it matter who read it? I just wanted to be honest and get something off of my chest. 

         Why are we so afraid of each other? Everyone experiences this, and if you say you don't it is because you are afraid of yourself as well.  We are all afraid of being judged by our peers.  That's why so many walk around with masks on; masks that are altered depending on the occasion.  We construct these ourselves with the occasional help of those around us.  As we grow older, these masks harden and become more difficult to remove, until they are permanently fixed onto our faces.  Our eyes can only see the world through the mask and our ears can only hear through it.  Soon the mask becomes so routine that we forget it exists.  This is when we cease to be the person we once were or could have been.

        This may be why honesty is so respected in our world.  Honesty is for the brave.

        But if we all do exist in a state of consciousness, why should we be afraid? We are all a part of each other.  So it's time to take a hammer and chisel and chip away at the masks we all wear.  It may be painful at first and it may not be pleasant to look at.  But the end result will make it all worthwhile.  The soft wind on our newly opened pores will soothe the pain, and our freshly opened eyes will make the world around is beautiful.  If we take off the masks we will truly achieve it...freedom.