A Simple Phone Call 6/28/2012

A simple phone call.
A short conversation.
Cordial, nice, and to the point.
No ups, or downs.
        So I'm lost.
Lost for an explanation of how the sound of your voice drove me to tears.
It hasn't been long.
I haven't thought about you especially.
So why?
Why could I not control the overwhelming emotion?
Where did the trickling tears form?
         I could not place it.
         Not from sadness, loneliness, jealousy.
         Not from bliss, joy, excitement.
Crying in the car I shuffled through emotions,
Searching desperately for one that would fit.
But I was unsuccessful.
I have no explanation. 
A little voice keeps shouting at me.
Through my pursuit it has been waving at me through the rearview mirror.




But love is a feeling
Not an explanation. 

Harmony in Segments 6/12/2012

The winds run by 
through my hair 
gently softly 
lift me off of my feet until i'm no longer grounded 
higher and higher 
until i realize that my breath becomes that very same wind


We're all breathing together.
There's nothing else.
We're all the same thing.
The sea, the sky, the earth.
We're all the same thing.
Made of the same stuff.
Such stuff as dreams are made on.


Let me melt into your fiery arms
and be dissolved into your endless ocean 

Steps. 4/29/2012

A step outside, followed by another.
Step. Step. Followed by an indescribable unrest.
Step. Step. Followed by an unexpected darkness.
An army of dense mist rose from the sea
      devouring all in it's path.
The invisible arrows scattered on the shore.
Cautiously, I proceeded. 
Step. Step.
Though I made no noise, I had been spotted.
An invisible arrow had pierced my heart. 
The poison spread quickly, but was unusual.
It would not kill me, yet it distressed my state.
It reminded me of someone I knew,
someone who was dear to me.
Someone I loved and admired.
Suddenly my very being was filled with fear,
I felt like I had lost him
Yet I know it wasn't too late.
He was changing, self-destructing.
Though the pain and fear were both strong
I knew there was still hope.
Distracted by a meaningless conversation
I pushed forward.
Step. Step.
Reaching my house, I was thrown into solitude.
Alone with my thoughts, now guided by the poison.
The fog crept through my window,
A chill filled the room.
Hastily, I reached for the first jacket in sight; His.
As I pulled it over my head I was infused with warmth.
The same warmth his eyes would give me when he smiled.
I felt valuable in his presence;
Stable, needed, appreciated, grounded.
I need to fight for him.
As this realization filled my head and heart
I could feel the poison dull.
The pain was subsiding.
The fear was still present, but less overwhelming.
The warmth seemed to spread through my fingertips
and out into the room.
The fog cleared, I could see again.
The sun would come back soon.
Hopefully, so would he...
Step by Step.

Solitude 6/2/2012

I create the mood.
     Lovely, soft lights...
         maybe some candles.
A nice, home-cooked meal for myself.
I wrap myself in a blanket
    creating a cozy environment.
I try to focus on the light;
     pacify myself with beautiful love songs.
Closing my eyes to transport myself 
      to such stuff as dreams are made on.
Humming the notes that mask the deafening silence.
I breathe in and out, slowly, deeply.
Listening to my own heartbeat.
But my smiles can't ease the pain,
   'cause in the end I'm alone again.

Conversation With the Sea -6/13/12

Timidly I trod along her territory.
Washed entirely in admiration.
"You're so beautiful!" I yelled;
"So incredible."
"You encompass everything
and everything ultimately flows back to you."
She just looked at me and smiled.
I took it to be her arrogance.
Out of my admiration rose a swift fire,
Jealousy, rage.
"It's not fair! Why can't I ever be so beautiful...so breathtaking?"
She continued to smile.
My anger swelled with the tide 
and I hurled the stones into her belly.
And I heard her laugh.
Frustrated and tired I stopped.
I stopped and glared at her.
Standing alone, the jealousy had not subsided.
She approached me cautiously,
her gentle waves kissed my feet.
The soft embrace pulled me in.
She had been smiling at my ignorance;
She had fashioned me in her own image.
I was just as beautiful as she.
I just hadn't realized it yet.  
Living a sweet dream.